• me: [watches five hour-long episodes of a tv show in a row]
  • friend: [sends me a link to an eight minute youtube video]
  • me: what the fuck i dont have time for this


celestia:

once i had a dream that my cat was working at mcdonalds w/ me and she had a lil uniform and she kept getting fur in the fries and everyone was yelling at me and saying “ur cat sucks on fries” and i was like “shes just a cat give her a break!” and i woke up crying

(via fuckyeahloldemort)


untitled-oct19:

animals-riding-animals:

cat riding dog (wearing sunglasses)

that dog has a frickin cELL PHONE WHAT KIND OF ANIMAL IS THIS
me nd my cougar gf
  • me: babe i love your necklace
  • gf: thats me Life Alert®


glumshoe:

This was my chemistry professor.

otterboxes:

♪ strums guitar why is it so hard to find decent clothes at reasonable prices

(via fake-mermaid)


zootedboy:

*black couple living in a haunted house*

wife: the house haunted

husband: we out this bitch

*everybody lives*

(via ecooli)


maurypovichofficial:

who is she
tsarbucks:

this is my favorite part of american horror story murder house

"I dont get along with other girls because girls are so bitchy"

bigbardafree:

image

(via milky-wavves)